PIG RACING: The Give Me 5 For Kids pig racing event at the Sugarland Tavern.Photo: Mike Knott / NewsMail
PIG RACING: The Give Me 5 For Kids pig racing event at the Sugarland Tavern.Photo: Mike Knott / NewsMail Mike Knott

10 things you can race instead of greyhounds

WITH greyhound racing banned in New South Wales and the ACT, Queenslanders fear they could be next.

While animal activists breathe a sigh of relief, shares in betting companies have plunged. No matter - we'll survive with plenty of other options. Horses need not apply.

1. Cane Toads

 

 

After all we have plenty to spare, and while it's illegal in NSW, why not take the chance.

 

2. Cockroaches

 

 

Because NSW is used to being beaten by Queensland.

 

3. Crabs

 

 

The classic pub racing animal. Drunk backpackers optional.

 

5. Turtles

 

 

Why not enhance our local icon? The tourists will come flocking.

 

6. Pigs

 

 

We already do this in Bundaberg - if you missed last month's event at the Sugarland Tavern, you really missed out on some rip-snorting fun.

 

7. Snails

 

 

It would take a lot of patience, not unlike racing...

 

8. Politicans

 

 

As we wait for those votes to be counted. Who would win a running race? Bill Shorten has been doing a lot of jogging lately.

 

9. Alpacas

Did you know we have several alpaca farms in the Bundaberg region? Imagine how bouncy that ride would be.

 

10. Humans

 

 

The Rio Olympics are on their way.

 

Let's be honest, we'd race flies up a wall

 

 

Because we're an optimistic bunch.

 

Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the writing of this article. The NewsMail does not encourage you to actually race any of these things.


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