Flattery from Apple works well for me

STRAP yourselves in, people, for I am about to join the cool kids!

Yes, indeed, this weekend I am off to the Apple Genius Bar.

It is not a pub where they sell drinks to smart people. It is not even a funky fruit and vegetable store (if you are groaning then please stop reading because you are already cool and know what the heck is the Apple Genius Bar). It is the centre of the universe for the tech-savvy and probably anyone under 30 - it is where you take your Apple products in Brisbane to learn about them or get them fixed.

Clever, aren't those folks at Apple. Imagine if where you bought your meat was called the Sausage Genius Bar. Sounds fabulous to me! Or the Wine Intellectual Centre was the name of the bottle shop.

Anyway, I have an appointment to get an explanation of how the heck to use my MacBook Pro computer. You see, I really wanted a Mac for years because everyone in the movies has one.

My husband finally gave in and there was my silver baby under the Christmas tree last December. He finds it hilarious when I groan and mutter swear words at the screen because I cannot figure out the simplest of things such as how to "page up" on the damn thing.

Macs and women have lots in common - they are both very difficult to figure out by bumbling your way around them and pushing all the wrong buttons.

Enter my wonderful friend who is the hottest geek-cheek female you have ever met. Amy has worried for six months over the welfare of my Mac. I feel she has me judged as an unfit Mac mother who would like to report me to the authorities and have my baby taken away.

So, being a woman of action, Amy left me a voice message saying we were booked into the Brisbane City store for me to have my "you are an idiot and this is how you turn your Mac on" talk.

They do that at the Apple Genius Bar. They give little lectures on how the hell to use their products. And you can make an appointment so you do not have to wait 234 hours to be served. The thing is, her message sounded like "I have booked the day spa."

At first I thought we would be going to get pedicures.

I rang her immediately and said I was so excited to go any day spa. Amy replied, "Um. It's the Apple Genius Bar for computers."

"They have a day spa for the computers?" I stuttered.

"Oh, give me strength," was her reply after quite a long silence.


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