Who ate all the pies? Well, it wouldn't be PC to answer

QUITE sensibly, Liverpool FC have issued members of staff with a list of words that could get people's backs up a bit.

The list of words which "the Club considers unacceptable" includes some of the more obvious racial epithets - but equally intolerable gender-insulting examples such as "play like a girl" and some which might even be a bit debatable, such as "man up".

The Independent's senior editors tasked writers with bringing this kind of attitude to some of the terrace's best-known chants. 

Before: "Who ate all the pies, who ate all the pies? You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pies!"

After: "Who ate all the pies, who ate all the pies? Please consider, please consider, the five-two diet."

Before: "You're going home in a f****** ambulance."

After: "You're going home in a Serco ambulance."

Before: "I want to go home, I want to go ho-ome, Town X is a s***hole, I want to go home."

After: "I want to go home, I want to go ho-ome, the lack of private investment in public-service-dependent northern towns like this one has cast a shadow across their post-recession streets, I want to go home."


Dad starts pub fight in mining town after son is ‘king-hit’

Premium Content Dad starts pub fight in mining town after son is ‘king-hit’

Mining operator and father of four told he could have better handled the...

Revealed: Qld private school fees for 2021

Premium Content Revealed: Qld private school fees for 2021

School fees at most Queensland private schools have increased

Train and ute collide in St Lawrence

Premium Content Train and ute collide in St Lawrence

Police have responded to a crash between a ute and a freight train.