Reality of remote control
Venus is Fallon Hudson
I don't want to see over-tanned overpaid air heads on my television screen and I am not just talking about Shane Warne.
I know why women love watching reality shows like Masterchef, they are hoping to get a bit of a perve on Curtis Stone.
But I know if he was standing in my kitchen giving me a master lesson on how to whip cream, I am pretty sure my television would be turned off.
The ironic thing about reality television shows and why women are glued to their TV set is because there is an element of fantasy in these shows.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that women love fantasies. Before television there were books and I am pretty sure that the trails and tribulations of Jane Austen’s Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy would make a brilliant reality television series.
When men think of fantasies most often then not they lie in the bedroom. Maybe for them, but for women they are sparked by watching something inspiring.
Take My Kitchen Rules, The Biggest Loser or Extreme Makeover they feature everyday people stepping out of their comfort zone and making a change.
Unlike men, women are not afraid to take the first step to make drastic changes to their life; when it comes to the tellie the only drastic change men see is should I watch the Australian Cricket team get flogged by the Brits again or switch the channel to the rugby.
All I know is when it comes to the male equivalent of reality television I did enjoy watching David Ferrer during the Australian Open, maybe not entirely for the same reasons as a man would.
Mars is Zane Jackson
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a modern woman in possession of a television remote, must be in want of reality TV programming.
I think it’s in the female DNA.
While some can mask it, most don’t have any shame in professing their love for the bawdy (Jersey Shore, The Hills), boring (Master Chef, Australian Idol) or bizarre (Beauty and the Geek) variations of reality TV.
Funnily enough, most blokes don’t really enjoy reality TV because they are actually aware and conscious of everything that happens around them during the day, i.e. reality.
I mentioned this to my wife once, and she retorted by saying her reality was boring - watching shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians gave her an insight into lifestyles of the rich and famous.
If I want to see over-tanned, overpaid airheads on my TV, I’ll do it the old fashioned blokey way, by flicking over to an Australian cricket game or the footy.
You see, sport is the ultimate reality TV program, and I don’t understand why ladies don’t like watching live games. All the ingredients are there.
Vapid, rich, beautiful people? Check.
Winners and losers ala The Biggest Loser and X-Factor? Check.
What more could you want?
The only thing more you could want is the remote control... to stop your partner from flicking over to a reality TV show.
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