Welfare cheats claim victory in 2015-16 budget

THE release of the Federal Budget 2015-16 has been hailed as a win by welfare cheats and dole bludgers.

The budget, also known as the 'stay-at-home catalogue' is being analysed on  video game forums to find the loop-holes through which the deliberately unemployed can score an extra fiscal boost.

Forensic accountants Fviti and Skotans delivered a record of 27 separate groups of unemployed people in Brisbane alone who have engaged taxpayer-funded accountants to increase their welfare cheque.

"Welfare cheat groups are calling this one a huge victory," Principal Accountant Ann Skotans said.

"Within twenty minutes of Joe Hockey announcing the new budget, five loopholes had been uncovered.

"Even something as complicated as using wholesale on credit to buy lobster could increase their dole payment by half."

A former accountant who has since decided to live as a deliberately unemployed person offered to talk to Frisky Business on the condition they remain anonymous.

"If you know what you're doing, there really is no need to actually work," Mr E said.

"I was working 14-hour days for 80k a year when now I'm happily on twice that thanks to Centrelink.

"The pressure we put on Hockey for this budget seems to have worked. I'm in for an enormous windfall in June."

The deliberately unemployed person support group known as 8chan released a statement indicating their full support for the new budget.

"The new budget is a step in the right direction, offering a safety net to those of us who feel employment should be optional."

Notices

If a Bill Shorten is in the country, could you please come to the front desk. Mr Bill Shorten, to the front desk, please.

Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real. 

 


CFMEU to monitor CQ mine after evacuation

premium_icon CFMEU to monitor CQ mine after evacuation

Anglo American reassures safety of workers company’s first priority

‘Grubby’ use of hospital statistics to ‘confuse public’

premium_icon ‘Grubby’ use of hospital statistics to ‘confuse public’

Political ‘mud slinging’ ‘misuses’ Rockhampton Hospital data

2020: Leaders share their visions of the region’s future

premium_icon 2020: Leaders share their visions of the region’s future

Leaders and experts across the Central Highlands share their visions for the new...