Welfare cheats claim victory in 2015-16 budget

THE release of the Federal Budget 2015-16 has been hailed as a win by welfare cheats and dole bludgers.

The budget, also known as the 'stay-at-home catalogue' is being analysed on  video game forums to find the loop-holes through which the deliberately unemployed can score an extra fiscal boost.

Forensic accountants Fviti and Skotans delivered a record of 27 separate groups of unemployed people in Brisbane alone who have engaged taxpayer-funded accountants to increase their welfare cheque.

"Welfare cheat groups are calling this one a huge victory," Principal Accountant Ann Skotans said.

"Within twenty minutes of Joe Hockey announcing the new budget, five loopholes had been uncovered.

"Even something as complicated as using wholesale on credit to buy lobster could increase their dole payment by half."

A former accountant who has since decided to live as a deliberately unemployed person offered to talk to Frisky Business on the condition they remain anonymous.

"If you know what you're doing, there really is no need to actually work," Mr E said.

"I was working 14-hour days for 80k a year when now I'm happily on twice that thanks to Centrelink.

"The pressure we put on Hockey for this budget seems to have worked. I'm in for an enormous windfall in June."

The deliberately unemployed person support group known as 8chan released a statement indicating their full support for the new budget.

"The new budget is a step in the right direction, offering a safety net to those of us who feel employment should be optional."

Notices

If a Bill Shorten is in the country, could you please come to the front desk. Mr Bill Shorten, to the front desk, please.

Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real. 

 


Replays: Watch action from day 2 of state cricket titles

Premium Content Replays: Watch action from day 2 of state cricket titles

Watch the Queensland under 16 cricket boys finals

FULL LIST: Emerald Magistrates Court appearances for today

Premium Content FULL LIST: Emerald Magistrates Court appearances for today

Here is a list of matters listed at Emerald Magistrates Court

Father, son face court over 800 marijuana plants bust

Premium Content Father, son face court over 800 marijuana plants bust

The duo is charged with myriad drug and weapon charges